Waiting is the Hardest Part
Waiting for results was awful. I checked and rechecked my portal. I carried my phone everywhere set on super loud in case the doctor called. I couldn’t concentrate on anything going on around me. My mom had come over to stay with us through all of this. One day she was out in the pool with Charlotte while Hayden was napping. I was on the computer researching everything of course. I got up to get some water. All of a sudden, I couldn’t breathe. My heart was racing. Weakly, I opened the door and yelled to my mom that something was wrong. She raced inside with Charlotte. I sat down and the room was spinning. I told her I couldn’t breathe and my heart was beating increasingly fast. Panicked, she asked if she should get an ambulance. I told her to just take me to the ER quickly. She ran next door to get our next door neighbor to watch the kids. Our neighbor came right over and my mom whisked me into the car and headed to the ER. The whole ride, I literally felt like I was having a heart attack. My mom dropped me off but couldn’t come in because of covid. They wheeled me in. My heart rate was extremely elevated but other than that, everything was normal. Lying in the hospital bed, I was starting to feel normal again. The doctor came in and said she believed it was a panic attack and asked If I had ever had one before. I told her I had not. She asked me if I had any stress in my life. I explained the situation and she reassured me I am too young and healthy to have cancer. A week or so later, the hematologist oncologist called and said yes, he believed I had cancer. Not only did I have cancer, it was in the highest stage and I needed to seek treatment immediately. There were 90% plasma cells in my marrow. My proteins were super elevated. I didn’t know what anything meant. He said it looked like multiple myeloma but it would have to be confirmed by Moffitt. I tried to draw lots of information out of him but he passed it off and encouraged me to make the appointment with Moffitt. They would answer all of my questions. I could tell he was really not trying to have such a conversation over the phone. I knew I officially had multiple myeloma.